How can grandparents be so much better than they were as parents?

Tonight’s ATAQ: “How is it that a set of parents who did such a poor job, were neglectful, were abusive, etc. can be such a great set of grandparents?”

Well, you could always ask them in a tactful way. If you don’t want to do that or they don’t have an answer for you, here are a few possibilities:

  1. They learned a few things from raising their own kids.
  2. They’ve mellowed out over the years.
  3. They’re regretful and don’t want to make the same mistakes.
  4. They’ve loosened up because they no longer have the stress of marriage + kids + work + errands + running kids around to extracurricular activities + cooking + cleaning, etc.
  5. They’re afraid of the response of the parents of the kids, so they’re minding their Ps and Qs.
  6. They’re in a position of less responsibility, less pressure when it comes to the kids, which means they can just focus on having fun with them.

Regardless of the reason, try to focus on the blessing of their improved parenting behavior. To release yourself from any remaining emotional pain, try to forgive them also. For more on overcoming abuse and neglect, check this out: Live In It or Learn From It: Overcoming Parental Abuse and Neglect.

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