Lessons from Alice in Wonderland

In my opinion, Alice in Wonderland may very well have been written by someone under the influence of LSD. Nonetheless, I think there are some important lessons to be learned from the story. Here are 5 of the many…

  1. Don’t go down the rabbit hole. The rabbit hole represents uncertainty—you never know what you’re going to get, so it’s really best to steer clear of a possible trap. In other words, if you have a tendency to overthink things, don’t let yourself go down the rabbit hole of incessant what-ifs and self-doubt. Self-doubt comes from the enemy and is a colossal waste of time, much like guilt. When it comes to interpersonal interactions, another way of saying this is “Don’t take the bait.” If someone you know has a tendency to try to start verbal fights or otherwise be a dramamonger, you can reserve the right to not go there. You can avoid the conflict by saying something to defuse the situation or by simply walking away. For example, let’s say you know someone who likes to make antagonistic statements about you or your choices to try to engage you in a verbal war. Avoid the rabbit hole by removing yourself from the situation or saying something like, “I’m not going to argue with you,” “I’m not going to talk about this with you right now,” or “We’ll just have to agree to disagree.” This is a particularly useful strategy if you’re dealing with someone who has an untreated personality disorder.
  2. “You can’t live your life to please others; the choice must be yours.” Another way of saying this is “You can’t please all the people all the time.” This is not to say you should be selfish, but YOU truly are the only one who can make YOU happy. Each of us is responsible for our own happiness. Absolutely no one is in charge of your happiness. Whomever it is that you are allowing to be the CEO of your happiness, fire them! Take care of yourself, be kind to yourself, pray for yourself and do nice things for yourself, just like you would not hesitate to do for others. If you don’t take care of yourself, no one is going to do it for you.
  3. “When you step out to face that creature, you’ll do it alone.” Ultimately, we must face our own demons. We can’t expect others to fight our battles for us or to make concessions for us when we act out because of our own issues. That’s not fair. Yes, it’s important to garner support and encouragement from others on our journey at times, but we must take ownership for our own problems and for solving them. Be strong. Be brave. Face your demons and overcome them. You are the only one who can do that for yourself.
  4. “Sometimes I believe as many as six impossible things before breakfast.” I love this! The sky’s the limit! Dream big! If you shoot for the moon and miss, you’ll still land among the stars, which is still great. As I said earlier, self-doubt is not of God, so don’t let that get in your way. Relatedly, fear is a liar. You have nothing to lose by putting your fear aside and trying. Ask yourself, “What’s the worst thing that could happen?” If no one is going to die or lose limb, go for it! Fear is temporary, but regret is forever.
  5. “That’s an excellent practice. However, at the present moment, you may want to focus on the jabberwocky.” Stay focused on what’s important: Multitasking is totally overrated! Don’t get so caught up that you miss the dangers in front of you or just things staring you square in the face that need to be addressed. Step back from your life and try to take a more objective view of things, or ask someone to give you their input. We all need a reset from time to time. Don’t be afraid to take a look at what may be holding you back—even if it’s YOU! It probably won’t be as tragic as you think. And, it bears repeating: Fear is temporary, but regret is forever.

If you or someone you know is struggling with one or more of these or another psychological issue, help is available. Talk to your insurer about available options under your plan. For more information on teletherapy sessions with me, visit the FAQs section at www.doctorbellingrodt.com.

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