ATAQ: How do I let go of the past?

Letting go of things you’ve done or things that have been done to you in the past can be difficult. Let’s start with a definition of letting go to make sure we’re all on the same page. To “let go” of something doesn’t mean that you say that what you did or what was done to you is okay or no big deal, nor does it give you or the offender a pass. Like forgiveness, what it means is that you’re … [Read more...]

ATAQ: How do I find peace?

Take a look at everything going on in the world these days, and it’s difficult to be at peace. Being at peace is a personal decision. It’s not necessarily a logical one, but it’s a decision nonetheless. There are several things you can do to find peace within, and I’ll talk about those in a minute. Ultimately, though, it’s a simple decision that gets you there. This is not to be confused with … [Read more...]

Help for Depression

According to the Mayo Clinic, depression is very common in the United States, affecting people of all ages at a rate of more than 3 million cases per year. According to the DSM-5, the diagnostic manual used by mental health providers, the symptoms of depression vary widely, with the primary identifying symptoms being depressed mood and/or lack of interest in activities. There may also be weight or … [Read more...]

How Do I Stop Being Afraid?

ATAQ: How do I stop being afraid? When we are blocked from doing something, however big or small, it’s fear that’s in charge. Fear is generated by negative automatic thoughts, or NATs, as I call them. These NATs are far more annoying and troublesome than the winged-variety gnats—even when they’re in a swarm! So, how do we overcome the fear that blocks us? Check out these 3 steps: Start by … [Read more...]

You’re Not a 2” x 4”: A Lesson in Dispensability

One of the best and most valuable lessons the Army taught me was that I was dispensable. You may be thinking, "Best--wait, what?" Though our inclination is to see dispensability as a bad thing, it can actually be a really good thing. Let’s take work for example. Maybe you feel like you have to take care of everything at the office. Maybe you feel like things will fall apart if you're not always … [Read more...]

Tempted Much?

It's a daily struggle for every single one of us. Temptation comes in many forms. It may be a temptation to engage in a sinful behavior or to stay stuck in dark, negative thoughts that try to pull you away from God and his purpose for your life. What do we do with this challenge? We can't let our thoughts win. We have to shoot them out as quickly as they came in. In the words of Martin … [Read more...]

You Don’t Know Better Than God

"When you think you know better than God, that's like taking the baton from his hand when he's already finished the race and trying to beat his time." - Family Life Radio I love this analogy! So, what things do we do that indicate--whether we realize it or not--that we know better than God? There are many, but here are a few that came to mind when I heard this today: 1. Judgment: I'll say it … [Read more...]

Life Goal #467: Suck at hating.

If I have ever wanted to suck at anything, it is hating other people. No matter what a person does to you, living in unforgiveness is a choice--and an exhausting one at that! Not to mention that it only hurts you. The person you choose to forgive may not know--or even care!--that they need your forgiveness. Why continue to suffer at the hands of that offender by letting them remain in control of … [Read more...]

MLK

As we close out this MLK day, I thought I'd share some of my favorite of his quotes. I was reviewing several of his quotes today and settled on these three as some of my favorites. He said many wise and insightful things, so this doesn't come close to representing his passion, but I guess I like these in particular because they mirror sentiments I have expressed previously. On hate, that … [Read more...]

To Get Out, Go Through

"The best way out is always through." - Robert Frost As a therapist, I see these as words to live by. Certain things in our emotional lives we can let roll off pretty readily, "like water off a duck's back." "Suck it up and drive on," as the Army teaches. Other things, we will be upset about for a time and then come to see differently after awhile, such that they don't bother us as much. Very … [Read more...]